Once upon a time, I dreamed of a life filled with glory and white picket fences. All those dreams crashed before me like the broken bong I was smoking out of and managed to drop on the hard floor. As soon as I discovered the "other plane," white picket fences didn't seem so important anymore. I found that there was more to life than chasing a dream. I learned to live life for today and not worry about planning my future. Some may call me immature in that regard, but hey, while they're busy planning their lives, I'm living mine.
I've not had an easy go of things, but I'm happy to have had challenges presented before me so that I had the opportunity to learn and grow from my mistakes. My sweet beautiful mistakes... Many stupid failed attempts at love, many stupid decisions made. All in all, it was a good life. At least I'll have a story to tell (and possibly blog about in more detail later) my grandchildren.
The latest news that came about only because of the stupid mistakes I've made is this:
Everything I've done in life has lead up to this moment. I'm embracing it. I'm living it. And, quite possibly letting my heart open up to someone new after years in hibernation. It's a scary thing, a vulnerable thing. But I can't control who I love, even though I've tried many a time. The love is in there screaming to be let out like 5 year old in time out, and I can't hold it in much longer no matter how hard I try.
All I can say is thank goodness I failed in my marriage. Thank goodness I failed at dating so many times since then. Had I not, I would not have met Paul.
More to follow........
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